Being Your Own Refuge

The Buddha and his Sangha then went to the little village of Beluva. The Buddha sent the monks back to Vaishali for the rainy season retreat, but he himself stayed in Beluva with Ananda.

And during the rains the Lord was attacked by a severe sickness, with sharp pains as if he were about to die. But he endured all this mindfully, clearly aware and without complaining. He thought: “It is not fitting that I should attain final nirvana without addressing my followers and taking leave of the order of monks. I must hold this disease in check by energy and apply myself to the force of life.” He did so, and the disease abated. (Ibid, p. 244)

According to Dr. Mettanando Bhikkhu, the Buddha’s illness was a symptom of a very serious condition known as mesenteric infarction, which is a condition brought on by old age in which the artery that supplies blood to the small intestines is blocked. This causes an infarction or gangrene of the intestinal wall or mesentery. The condition is fatal if untreated, and one of the symptoms would be severe abdominal pains or angina. These and other symptoms indicative of mesenteric infarction will appear later in the narrative of the Buddha’s passing.

The lesson here is that the Buddha was beyond suffering, but not beyond the painful physical ailments that come with old age and disease and eventually lead to death. He felt the physical pain, in fact he was mindful and clearly aware of it, but he did not compound that pain with the emotional reaction of suffering. For this reason he was able to endure it without complaint, and in fact determined to live longer for the sake of his disciples. The Buddha no longer worried about a “self” that could be affected by the vicissitudes of birth and death, even though the processes we call birth and death continued on, as it always had, without such a self. Superficially, the Buddha was afflicted with a fatal illness, but on a deeper level the Buddha is forever untouched by birth and death because the Buddha does not cling to or identify with conditioned phenomena. Ananda, however, was not an arhat, not enlightened or liberated, and therefore was quite shaken by the Buddha’s illness.

Then the Lord, having recovered from his sickness, as soon as he felt better, went outside and sat on a prepared seat in front of his dwelling. Then the Venerable Ananda came to him, saluted him, sat down to one side and said: “Lord, I have seen the Lord in comfort, and I have seen the Lord’s patient enduring. And, Lord, my body was like a drunkard’s. I lost my bearings and things were unclear to me because of the Lord’s sickness. The only thing that was some comfort to me was the thought: ‘The Lord will not attain final nirvana until he has made some statement about the order of monks.’”

“But, Ananda, what does the order of monks expect of me? I have taught the Dharma, Ananda, making no ‘inner’ and ‘outer’: The Tathagata has no ‘teacher’s fist’ in respect of doctrines. If there is anyone who thinks: ‘I shall take charge of the order’, or ‘The order should refer to me’, let him make some statement about the order, but the Tathagata does not think in such terms. So why should the Tathagata make a statement about the order?” (Ibid, pp. 244-245)

Here the Buddha informs Ananda that there are no esoteric teachings, he has held nothing back. There are no further instructions and in fact no designated successors to lead the Sangha. Indeed, all along the Buddha has been reiterating and reviewing the same basic teachings again and again in the form of the comprehensive discourse. The Buddha points out that in the near future the Sangha will have to get along without him and each person will have to be their own refuge by putting the Dharma into practice. He even jokingly refers to himself as like an old cart that is falling apart. His only relief from physical pain is to enter the meditative absorption that transcends “signs” or the particulars of worldly sensations. The Buddha counsels Ananda that soon he and the others will have to take all responsibility for their own practice and enlightenment.

“Ananda, I am now old, worn out, venerable, one who has traversed life’s path, I have reached the term of life, which is eighty. Just as an old cart is made to go by being held together with straps, so the Tathagata’s body is kept going by being strapped up. It is only when the Tathagata withdraws his attention from outward signs, and by the cessation of certain feelings, enters into signless concentration of mind that his body knows comfort.

“Therefore, Ananda, you should live as islands unto yourselves, being your own refuge, with no one else as your refuge, with the Dharma as an island, with the Dharma as your refuge, with no other refuge. And how does a monk live as an island unto himself, … with no other refuge? Here, Ananda, a monk abides contemplating the body as body, earnestly, clearly away, mindful and having put away all hankering and fretting for the world, and likewise with regard to feelings, mind, and mind-objects. That, Ananda, is how a monk lives as an island unto himself, … with no other refuge. And those who now in my time or afterwards live thus, they will become the highest, if they are desirous of learning.” (Ibid, p. 245)

The English writer John Donne (1572-1631) said, “no man is an island.” By this, he meant that none of us are really isolated from one another. And of course the three treasures that all Buddhists take refuge in is the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha and not just oneself or the Dharma alone. The Buddha is not teaching people to isolate themselves, nor is he teaching a rugged individualism. He is pointing to the fact that no one can do the practice for us; we must directly realize the Dharma within our own lives through our own practice. Here the practice is defined in terms of the four foundations of mindfulness. If we cannot do that, then the example of the Buddha will be meaningless for us, and all the help the Sangha can provide us will be in vain. It all comes down to our own effort to personally realize that our own life is not an isolated self but the Dharma itself that is beyond the distinctions of self and other.

According to the commentaries, though not the canon, the Buddha and his Sangha then made one last journey to the Jeta Grove Monastery in Shravasti. On a previous visit late in the Buddha’s life, his chief supporter in Shravasti, Sudatta, passed away. It was Sudatta, who had first invited Shakyamuni Buddha to Shravasti, and it was he who bought the grounds from Prince Jeta and donated them to the Sangha. As Sudatta lay on his deathbed he called for Shariputra to visit him. Shariputra taught him a profound discourse on non-clinging. He taught Sudatta that one should not cling to the senses, or their objects, or the contacts, feelings, and consciousness derived from the meeting of senses and their objects. One should not cling to any of the five aggregates of form, feeling, perception, mental formations, or consciousness, nor the four elements of earth, air, fire, and water, not even to the four attainments of the formless realms of space, consciousness, nothingness, or neither perception nor non-perception. In short, liberation is found through not clinging to anything at all. Sudatta was very impressed and asked Shariputra why he had never heard such a discourse before. Shariputra told him that such teachings were usually reserved only for the monastics. Sudatta then implored Shariputra to make the teaching available to householders as well, since some of them might understand. Sudatta died shortly afterwards and was reborn in the Tushita Heaven, so he was either a stream-enterer or a once-returner since he had taken rebirth in one of the heavens of the realm of desire.

At the time of this last visit in the last year of the Buddha’s life, the Buddha’s son Rahula and the Buddha’s first disciple Ajnata Kaundinya had already passed away. The Buddha’s foster-mother and aunt, Mahaprajapati, and his wife, Yashodhara, had also passed away by that time. All had become arhats in the course of their practice. Reflecting on this, Shariputra realized that it was the way of things for a Buddha’s chief disciples to pass away before the Buddha, and that in fact his own life was drawing to a close. Shariputra decided that he would return to his mother’s home in the village of Nalaka where he had grown up. He wished to do this because his three brothers and three sisters had all become monastics and then in the course of their practice arhats. But his mother, Rupashari, had not yet taken refuge in the three treasures. He hoped that in dying peacefully in accord with the Dharma he could inspire his mother to do so and at least attain stream-entry and escape the lower paths of rebirth. In this he hoped to repay his mother for all she had done for him in giving birth to him and raising him. Shariputra then took his final leave fro the Buddha, first apologizing for anything he had done to displease him. The Buddha told him that never had he done anything displeasing, but granted his forgiveness anyway. Then, with a company of 500 monks who were his own students, Shariputra returned to his home. On his deathbed he was visited in turn by the four heavenly kings, Indra, and Brahma. His mother witnessed this, and as a worshipper of Brahma was quite awed and amazed that Brahma himself was paying his respects to her son. She realized that if Shariputra commanded that kind of respect, then how much more respect worthy was his teacher the Buddha. Rupashari at last took refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha and her faith in the Buddha was such that she attained stream-entry. His mother’s spiritual liberation secured, Shariputra then called in his companions and apologized to them for anything he had done to displease. The monks protested that he had not done anything to displease them and that in fact it was Shariputra who should forgive them for anything they had done to displease him. Shariputra then entered into all the deep states of dhyana or meditative absorption, moving on from there into the four attainments of space, consciousness, nothingness, and the realm of neither perception nor yet non-perception. He then moved shifted his consciousness back down to the first dhyana and then back up to the fourth and from that point entered into parinirvana, going beyond all suffering and pain forever.

Shariputra’s younger brother Chunda then returned to the Jeta Grove Monastery with Shariputra’s robe and bowl to report what had happened. Ananda greeted him and together they went to inform the Buddha.

Then the Venerable Ananda and the novice Chunda approached the Blessed One, paid homage to him, and sat down to one side. The Venerable Ananda then said to the Blessed One: “This novice Chunda, venerable sir, says that the Venerable Shariputra has attained final nirvana, and this is his bowl and robe. Venerable sir, since I heard that the Venerable Shariputra has attained final nirvana, my body seems as if it has been drugged, I have become disoriented, the teachings are no longer clear to me.”

“Why, Ananda, when Shariputra attained final nirvana, did he take away your aggregate of virtue, or your aggregate of concentration, or your aggregate of wisdom, or your aggregate of liberation, or your aggregate of the knowledge and vision of liberation?”

“No he did not, venerable sir. But for me the Venerable Shariputra was an advisor and counselor, one who instructed, exhorted, inspired, and gladdened me. He was untiring in teaching the Dharma; he was helpful to his brothers in the holy life. We recollect the nourishment of Dharma, the wealth of Dharma, the help of Dharma given by the Venerable Shariputra.”

“But have I not already declared, Ananda, that we must be parted, separated, and severed from all who are dear and agreeable to us? How, Ananda, is it to be obtained here: ‘May what is born, come to be, conditioned, and subject to disintegration not disintegrate!’? That is impossible. It is just as if the largest branch would break off a great tree standing possessed of heartwood: so too, Ananda, in the great order of monks possessed of heartwood, Shariputra has attained final nirvana. Now, Ananda, is it to be obtained here: ‘May what is born, come to be, conditioned, and subject to disintegration not disintegrate!’? That is impossible.

“Therefore, Ananda, dwell with yourselves as your own island, with yourselves as your own refuge, with no other refuge; dwell with the Dharma as your island, with the Dharma as your refuge, with no other refuge … Those monks, Ananda, either now or after I am gone, who dwell with themselves as their own island, with themselves as their own refuge, with no other refuge; who dwell with the Dharma as their island, with the Dharma as their refuge, with no other refuge – it is these monks, Ananda, who will be for me the topmost of those keen on the training.” (Connected Discourses, pp. 1643-1644)

Maudgalyayana, the Buddha’s other chief disciple, and Shariputra’s lifelong friend, met his own end two weeks later. But his death was not as peaceful, even though he too had long since become an arhat. As an arhat, he would never again be reborn in the six paths of the hell-dwellers, hungry-ghosts, animals, fighting demons, humans, or heavenly beings. He no longer set in motion the karmic activity that would bind him to the world, because as with all arhats his every action was selfless and complete in that moment without any residue of clinging or aversion that would lead to future effects. However, even arhats could only mitigate and not completely eradicate the ripening of past karma. The arhats simply had to mindfully and patiently endure the effects of those causes they were responsible for prior to attaining enlightenment. In this case, in a past life the man who would become Maudgalyayana and his wife of that lifetime grew tired of caring for his aged and blind parents. To get rid of them, he took them into the forest, faked an attack by bandits, beat them with a stick and then left them to die. For this deed he was reborn in hell, but even after that time in hell there was still a karmic seed left from that act of heartless violence. It came to fruition through the jealousy of a band of naked ascetics, who blamed Maudgalyayana for stealing their supporters away with his miraculous powers. In order to get rid of Maudgalyayana they hired a band of robbers to kill him. Maudgalyayana used his miraculous powers to evade them for almost a week, not out of fear but out of compassion for the robbers, who would fall into hell for killing an arhat. On the seventh day, however, his powers failed him due to the ripening of his past misdeed and the bandits caught up with him and beat him to death with their staffs until they had broken every bone in his body. Maudgalyayana’s last act was to use his miraculous powers to appear before the Buddha to tell him what had happened and to announce that he was now entering parinirvana. In this way, Maudgalyayana also made the final journey, so to speak, beyond all suffering and pain.

Some time after leaving Shravasti for the last time, while on the banks of the Ganges River, the Buddha spoke to Sangha in reference to the parinirvana of his two chief disciples:

“Monks, this assembly appears to be empty now that Shariputra and Maudgalyayana have attained final nirvana. This assembly was not empty for me earlier, and I had no concern for whatever quarter Shariputra and Maudgalyayana were dwelling in.

“The arhats, the perfectly enlightened ones, who arose in the past also had just such a supreme pair of disciples as I had in Shariputra and Maudgalyayana. The arhats, the perfectly enlightened ones, who will arise in the future will also have just such a supreme pair of disciples as I had in Shariputra and Maudgalyayana.

“It is wonderful, monks, on the part of the disciples, it is amazing on the part of the disciples, that they will act in accordance with the teacher’s instructions and comply with his admonitions, that they will be dear and agreeable to the four assemblies, that they will be revered and esteemed by them. It is wonderful, monks, on the part of the Tathagata, it is amazing on the part of the Tathagata, that when such a pair of disciples has attained final nirvana, there is no sorrow or lamentation in the Tathagata.

“How, monks, is it to be obtained here: ‘May what is born, come to be, conditioned, and subject to disintegration not disintegrate!’? That is impossible. It is just as if the largest branches would break off a great tree standing possessed of heartwood: so too, monks, in the great order of monks standing possessed of heartwood, Shariputra and Maudgalyayana have attained final nirvana. How, monks, is it to be obtained here: ‘May what is born, come to be, conditioned, and subject to disintegration not disintegrate!’? That is impossible.

“Therefore, monks, dwell with yourselves as your own island, with yourselves as your own refuge, with no other refuge; dwell with the Dharma as your island, with the Dharma as your refuge, with no other refuge … Those monks, either now or after I am gone, who dwell with themselves as their own island, with themselves as their own refuge, with no other refuge; who dwell with the Dharma as their island, with the Dharma as their refuge, with no other refuge – it is these monks who will be for me the topmost of those keen on the training.” (Ibid, pp. 1644-1645)

Again and again, whether in reference to his own deathly illness or the deaths of the monks he had relied upon to assist him in guiding and leading the Sangha, the Buddha reminded his disciples that such partings were only to be expected as the natural course of life, and that one must rely upon one’s own efforts to attain liberation. After these events, the Buddha and Sangha returned to Vaishali.