“One makes an effort to abandon wrong view and to enter upon right view: this is one’s right effort. Mindfully one abandons wrong view, mindfully one enters upon and abides in right view: this is one’s right mindfulness. Thus these three states run and circle around right view, that is, right view, right effort, and right mindfulness.”
(Majjhima Nikāya, 117.15 The Great Forty, translated by Bhikkhu Bodhi)
Mindfulness, effort and understanding are inseparable. If we're mindful, we're aware of what we're doing and if our thoughts, words and actions are beneficial or harmful.
How can we know if right view is working in us? As we move through life, we notice when things feel out of balance, or simply not as we would wish. These moments can be identified as suffering (dukkha).
When we feel things are out of balance and we are uneasy, we can ask ourselves, what is upsetting me? Is it specific or general? Where is the exact location of the disturbance? What is the nature of the objection my mind is making to this experience? Is this aggravation unique to me? Has someone purposely created an impediment to my comfort?
With these and other questions, we can identify he cause of what is upsetting us. Often, it is in the category of "it shouldn't be this way." People should be nice, not mean; weather should be tolerable, not wild; planes and trains should run on time; drivers should be courteous. It's not that these thoughts are wrong, exactly, they just misunderstand the situation we're in.
Suffering is universal; things are not meant to go smoothly for us personally; the world is simply not built that way.
If someone does or says something bad to us, we're likely to take it personally. But if we consider the other person’s situation, we can see that their actions say more about them than about us.
Of course, there will always be people who aren't able to overcome, or don't see the point in overcoming, their personal struggles. We can’t control them, only our reactions. Using right view and our empathy, we can see that the other person is in pain and acting and speaking from their pain. Rather than take it personally, or get upset, we can make another choice, not to engage or perhaps offer a kind word, gesture, or smile.
Accepting that suffering is built into the nature of existence, and that this is just the way the world works, can give us a bit of peace, ease and space, allowing us to be less reactive.