“Everything is hard before it’s easy.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The awful video of the Dalai Lama invites us to reflect on humans’ tendency to seek outside help to solve our problems.

Life is hard. Life is suffering.

Why do we abdicate self-responsibility to others, thereby giving them power over us?

This difficulty of mastering ourselves through self-awareness of mindfulness and bodyfulness explains why we are always looking outside ourselves for the answers, for salvation, for someone to tell us what to do, to lead us. We end up abdicating our own agency to another, worshiping, venerating, idolizing another. A guru, a master, a leader, coach, CEO, super-stat-influencer, pope, etc. This idea of guru teacher being so noble and infallible that we sacrifice our own insights and awareness to them is a dangerous idea, contrary to our goal of self-awareness and awakening. It is in fact it is a barrier or fetter to enlightenment.

This abdication creates fertile soil for those who now have power over us to abuse such power, for everyone is always driven by greed, hatred and ignorance.

We are particularly vulnerable during our spiritual awakening - “Hero’s Journey - for it is when we are deep in our suffering (journey) that we are wide open to predators and abusers. We must acknowledge that no one can lead us to self-awareness, to awakening, to freedom from suffering. We have to do it for ourselves.

Self-mastery is a solo ascent.

Good teachers are simply guides who point the way. At times they may “belay” you while you ascend a difficult pitch. But the climb is up to you.

Good teachers are not above you. They are supporting you from below.

Good teachers have the self-awareness to know when to stop teaching.

Developing a regular self-care practice is hard. It takes work. It takes sustained practice before it becomes habit. Eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, meditation etc. is very hard. So much easier to reach for the glass of wine, the joint or edible, a triple size portion of dinner followed by dessert, etc. Numb ourselves to pain and then turn on the TV to watch the “news” that seeks to convince us that everything is broken.

Giving considered attention (being mindful) to our words and actions is hard work, but this is an essential form of mind training, or meditation. Instead of letting our awareness wander over whatever catches our attention, we consciously direct at least part of our mental energy to our intentions. We listen to our words and consider what effect they are having on the people who hear us (or see us - body language is a form of speech, too).

Instead of reacting without thinking, we can take the time to reflect before responding to what others are doing or saying, and doing or saying nothing is always worth considering. If we take the time to try to understand a situation fully before deciding on a plan of action, we may bring the perfect ingredient to an interaction. As the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle points out, we affect processes simply by observing them.

Reflecting on how our words and actions affect others and ourselves doesn't come naturally for most people; however, the second part of the phrase is also true. We can cultivate the habit of behaving mindfully; we can learn to pause before speaking and before taking action. When the habit starts to feel natural, we may notice that life gets that little bit easier because we are non-participants in creating or amplifying friction. When others are creating trouble, we can be a calming presence, even the voice (or image?) of reason and kindness. If we learn to lead with compassion, there can be joy even in difficult situations. We can become our own little zone of safety and well-being.

People’s desire seeking outside help in a guru, god and protector opens them to all sorts of unwholesome behaviors. It is disappointing to see this incorrect idea so prevalent within Buddhism, for the Buddha’s teachings are absolutely clear that we should NOT be relying on teachers.

Shakyamuni Buddha taught the Four Reliances in the Vimalakirti Sutra the Mahaparinirvana Sutra:

Rely on the Dharma,
not upon the person;
Rely on the meaning,
not upon the words;
Rely on wisdom,
not upon discriminative consciousness;
Rely on the definitive meaning,
not upon the provisional meaning.

And in the Pali Canon, (DN 16 PTS: D ii 72 chapters 1-6, Maha-parinibbana Sutta: Last Days of the Buddha translated from the Pali by Sister Vajira & Francis Story):

The Blessed One's Final Exhortation

1. Now the Blessed One spoke to the Venerable Ananda, saying: "It may be, Ananda, that to some among you the thought will come: 'Ended is the word of the Master; we have a Master no longer.' But it should not, Ananda, be so considered. For that which I have proclaimed and made known as the Dhamma and the Discipline, that shall be your Master when I am gone…
8. And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"[58]
This was the last word of the Tathagata.”

As Zhiyi taught:

“Single-mindedly chanting the name of the dharma with repentance and humility, deeply trusting in the dharma as if one’s life depends upon it.”

Trust the process. Trust yourself. Do the hard work. It does get easier.

Namu Myoho Renge Kyo

With Respect,

Ryugan Mark White Lotus